Everytime.

Seriously I told myself that I wouldn't like anyone. Ya and that worked out so well for me haha. Even though now after many heartbreaks it is hard for my to fall... I think I have. But I am still always so unsure because I don't know how this certain boy might feel about me. Knowing how most people feel about me he probably thinks I am just so messed up. I laugh way too much. My friends and I have inside jokes. But still still I have hope to think that he might like me:) he laughs at me and smiles a ton, the only reason I get through math class is him. I still have hope because that's at least what people say. He won't tell me how he feels but I can tell he feels something. So now I am just waiting, for that perfect moment or waiting for my surety. I like to be in control of my fate but now i am completely out of control:) and I might confusedly like it. To men, confusing, and a hastle that they are.
Love, Single silly sophomore Shelby:)

Dramatic venting post.

This post really has no direction. I just need to vent and I dont know who to vent to. So hey blog and blog readers it's your lucky day. (Jk)
Sometime I feel ugly, I feel fat, I feel stupid, pressured, stressed, lost. And so on and so forth. Teenager ism I like to call it. Why do I feel these things I will NEVER KNOW.
Boys don't like me and they never will. Ever. I'm so weird and ahhhh it just doesn't work out. I am so sick and tired of falling for guys and getting that stupid jealousy I get. I hate it.
Why the heck do I care so much about what guys think about me? I have no idea. I am always constantly giving people advice but I can't think of anything for myself. Why is it that I always want to look or be like someone else. I'm so messed up.
Do not read this post and think I'm like depressed I'm not. I'm just lost and need to vent.
There is always so much pressure on me and I feel like I have given up when it comes to grades and school, and that's a problem.
I just don't even know what to do. Satan is on my back big time!
I need to kick him in the face.
I want Ella home from Hawaii.
I want a boy to like me for me.
I want to not be so awkward.
I want to find myself.
My best friend, Braiden and I are lost but her doesn't know I am. I am trying to be strong for him. And have him not worrying about me.
I want to support Camilla. B in her relationship but sometimes it jut plain bugs.
I want to be a better friend to Camilla C. And be able to tell her more.
I want to not feel awkward with Tanner anymore or feeling like I need to walk away whenever he is near. Or when he is walking me to class and the girl he likes shows up and my legs move faster because I feel like I need to leave him alone and hold back years.
I need to stop trying to be perfect.
I need to talk to that boy.
Sorry this post was so dramatic so yeah.... I suck its fine.
-sucky single sophomore Shelby.

Today, today I failed.

I walk into the ever so depressing DMV and take the test for my learners permit. I pray to do well, I really really did. As I click finish I look to see the red bar and a 76% if I would've gotten two more right I would've passed to I went to the desk the lady reset it and I took it again. This time I wanted to pass at the moment it seemed more then anything. I got a 78% that means I was 1 question away. I am angry to say the least. Now I have to go back to that horrible DMV. Not my day. 👎
Yes this picture might look like I got my permit but no. This is a no permit able paper. False hope.

Life.

Woah. I haven't posted in forever!! Well I started highschool... I'm a big girl now:) and I hate the whole homework and learning aspect of it but I love all the new people I am meeting and the memories I am making:)
I honestly have such an amazing life, I am blessed to have the friends I have:) and I can thank Justin and tanner for that. My Camilla's (Christensen and Bennett) are my home girls who I can tell anything to and we laugh so much when we're together:) we have already had so many fun times and will have so many more I am sure of it. Then I have my boys:) (Taylor, Nate, Tanner, Hyrum, and Braiden) they are so great and make me laugh and tease me like crazy, not to mention the many times try come and tickle me from behind in the middle of the packed high school halls!
Isn't it crazy how fast things change, Braiden and I were thinking about just how many things have changed even in a year, we are completely different people, and I am grateful for how we have grown. Braiden you are one of my best friends!
Ella is still the honestly most loyal people I have ever met. We can always catch up and I always can be myself with her.
Life, we just have to take things each bit by a time. We don't know our outcome but we sure as heck can enjoy the ride:)
I still kinda miss my Lincoln home. But mostly I miss the people I met there... Monica, Brandon, and Jeremy the most. I miss there hugs and the good talks I would always have with them. But the sad reality is that chapter in my life is over, you can't worry so much about you past that it ruins your future.
I am proud to be a caveman:) I have met so so many nice people and I will always remember these first couple months as a sophomore.
Life goes on,
Shelby:)